Eye on the Prize

I've been wanting to start a blog for awhile to document my life during pregnancy. I'm a constant lurker of others' pregnancy and motherhood blogs, so I thought it only right to start my own. I've been journaling since I was seven-years-old, inspired by a cartoon by the name of Doug who writes in his own diary about every day life. Journaling has brought me through life's biggest events, as well as those small things that seem to be little pieces of a big puzzle that has resulted in where I am today.
A little about me, I'm 23-years-old, pregnant with my first child (a boy!) due May 15, 2009, and have been married for over two years to my wonderful husband Adam.
We have been through more ups and downs than I care to recall (the downs, anyway), but have always come out stronger. I feel absolutely blessed to have married a man that turns adversity into triumphs, no matter how small and meaningless. The good times are what we cling onto like a lifeline during the really hard spots.
Currently we're learning to grow closer together through a roller coaster economy that I think my now very possible grand kids will have to pay for much later. My husband's business depends on a good economy and housing market, so you can imagine where our financial state is right now. But through family and other blessings we've been able to keep our home and somehow pay most of our bills...the really important ones anyway. And with a baby on the way there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think "how in the world are we going to do this?" But somehow, some way, things will work themselves out.

I'm not quite sure how to blog effectively and keep things interesting, so bare with me. In journaling it's all about simply reflecting my emotions onto paper, so this is a bit different.
This pregnancy has been everything I always expected, but also a few great surprises. The physical aspects I halfway was ready for. I'm carrying very out front and low, and the baby is positioned feet down, so that has been a lovely experience. Just imagine a little person using your bladder as his personal kickboxing bag. :-) Fun, huh? Keep your eye on the prize is something I tell myself in his most active hours of the day which tend to be early morning and mid evening. Every movement amazes, though. It makes it hit home that there is a human in there that will come out in May and change my world forever.
Today I ordered a maternity outfit to boost my morale and have something to wear that isn't black or gray.
http://www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?ViewSource=&Product_Id=817790011&category_Name=Sets&Category_Id=90011&MasterCategory_Id=9996
I'm so sick of wearing dark colors I could barf. I've always loved wearing bright colors and cute shoes, but maternity wear still has some expanding to do. Since November I've practically worn the same pair of Clarks leather slip on shoes every day. They've kept my feet and ankles from swelling, but I do miss my stiletto heels and 3 inch pumps. Somehow I think if I tried to wear those right now I would resemble an infant just learning to walk. Oh the irony.
I've learned the art of accessorizing as well to compensate for not feeling very pretty elsewhere. Having your whole profile change over the course of nine months is a little daunting. I know what my body is doing, I love what it is doing, but I can't believe that is my body. Each time I catch a glimpse of my belly in the mirror I have to do a double take. Your whole life you obsess over keeping a perfect hourglass figure, and then you get pregnant and give all of it up while the baby grows. It's a hard thing to let go of!
I do feel beautiful, though. I do see a glow about me that I like to call radiant. It's as though the joy in my heart can at last reflect onto my exterior. Being pregnant brings about a sense of wonderment. As strange as my body appears it is doing something amazing. As the quote goes, "Pregnancy and childbirth are our one opportunity as women to assist God in a miracle." I don't quite agree that it's just one opportunity we get, but it certainly is one of the greatest. At one point I was having to come to grips that my chance may never come to experience pregnancy, but God had different plans. And I am so glad He did.

1Cr 9:24
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain [it].